The Case for Forgiveness

On the morning of January 1, 2019, I opened my eyes and pondered, how do I want to start this New Year? I hadn’t intended on doing this, but after a few seconds, my thoughts centered on forgiveness. I began to think about the memories I have replayed in my mind on a regular basis that continue to cause me pain and fuel my feelings of resentment. In that moment, I visualized packing those memories into a few travel chests (because one chest didn’t seem to be enough to hold my stuff!). Once I packed my last memory, I closed the chests and said, “I forgive.” This was my way of releasing feelings of hurt and disappointment that served no purpose other than to keep me stuck in the past.

Interestingly, within those chests were memories of things that I needed to forgive myself for – regrets and times when I did not do “the right thing” to serve my best interest, including self-care. I share this for a couple of reasons: one, forgiveness is good for the soul, and though it sounds cliché, the alternative – unforgiveness – deteriorates the spirit and can literally compromise our health even when it comes to forgiving ourselves. Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reduce the risk of heart attack, improve cholesterol and blood pressure levels, and help you sleep better. The research also shows an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as we age.  And two, in terms of holding on to past regrets and beating up on ourselves, we can remain stuck in a continuous loop of “I should have,” hindering our future progress.

As the end of January 2019 is steadily approaching, we may already need to extend the olive branch of forgiveness to ourselves for commitments that we have fallen short of, as in New Year’s resolutions. Let’s agree to be gentle on ourselves and keep moving forward.

I leave you with a quote from Oprah Winfrey about a definition of forgiveness from one of her guests that created a transcendent moment for her:

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”

I reflect on this thought when I am tempted to revisit moments of regret and pain. 

May 2019 offer you new and exciting opportunities to nurture your body, mind & spirit.

In health and wellness,

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